Ms. Booth, our school guidance counselor, has shared this article with our blog on positive parenting. Ms. Booth has been a guidance counselor in Virginia Beach Public Schools for nine years, three years at John B. Dey.
Hello Parents!
To help your child achieve success as a well balanced child, these tips might help
Responsibility: Encourage your kids to admit their mistakes, and take the time to treat it as a learning experience. Remain calm, discuss the decision that was made, and explain that poor choices have consequences. Mistakes are everyday teaching moments. More than likely, the consequences from poor decisions will have an impact on the child making more successful choices in the future.
Stress: Our kids have busy lives!! What helps when things get chaotic? Lower the volume in your home. Studies reveal that kids growing up in chaotic, hectic, loud homes often have more anxiety issues and difficulty problem solving in their environment. To help de-stress, turn the TV off when it is not being viewed. Often, background noises are distracting and time could be better spent talking or sharing family time. Have a quiet time period after school or before dinner to let the kids unwind, read their favorite book, or even have a short nap. Talk to your kids in calm tones and show them what active listening is all about. Finally, have daily routines to help maintain order and consistency in the home.
Discipline: It is important to keep in mind what we really want to get out of discipline. We want kids to realize from any situation that they are able to learn the difference between right and wrong. Self-discipline is a goal from positive parenting techniques- praise, discussion of choices, discussion of expectations, and building trust. Studies show that a nurturing parent- not too harsh and not too lenient- has the most positive impact on kids. Parents who are kind, understanding, and send nurturing messages to their kids usually have better behaved children. Some nurturing messages: I love you, you are important in our family, let’s learn from this together, I have faith in your abilities, I care about you. Anger is a natural emotion of parents when their children disobey, however be sure to take the time to calm down before speaking to your child. Children learn from modeling, so when they see you take time to calm down, they are more likely to assess their choices to get the best response from you!
Source: Firm, Fair and Consistent, The Parent Institute, 2006.
